Dumb RV StoriesThe following stories were copied from the alt.rv and/or rec.outdoors.rv-travel newsgroups, and this thread was so hilarious, that I wanted to include it here for all to enjoy. All names have been removed to protect the "dummy" who wrote it! StartI suspect I might be the only RVer with the dubious distinction of having nearly run over himself with his own RV. I was in Munich. Germany with an old Travel Queen Class C. I pulled into the parking lot where my daughter was attending University and hit the sack. When I got up in the morning, I got into the driver's seat and turned the key.........nothing. I tried the horn, the horn AND the headlights. I had plenty of battery, but no starter. Knowing at least as much as the average bear, I decided I had a solonoid problem and crawled under the rig with a big screwdriver. I shorted across the terminals and the rig promptly started up and began to move. I had left it in Drive!!! Needless to say I got out from under the rig with haste, hollering to my wife to come hit the brakes. Furtunately she did and no damage was done. My only consolation is that not everybody would have been smart enough to be that stupid, not figuring out how to start the rig by shorting across the terminals/ Any other smart idiots out there??----------------------------- Good hevvins! How do you suppose some of us old geezers LEARNED so much stuff! I would hate to try to recount all the dumb tricks from our travels, but here are two painful memories: Nebraska 1972. The water pump went bad on our 390 Ford wagon. The service manager at the Ford garage graciously let me change it out in their parking lot. I changed it out in 30 minutes, laying the old pump (still hot) on the counter to get back the core charge. "Holy Smokes", said he; "You want a job?? That's an hour and a half job in the Flat Rate Manual". I declined, giving him an "Aw Shucks" grin. And went down the road. Until the radiator started leaking where I damaged it sliding the fan outa the way instead of removing the radiator like you were supposed to! Colorado 1989. 440 Dodge starting trouble. Spent 4+ hours changing out the starter. Miserable job because the bozo that designed the headers failed to allow space to get at the starter. (One more reason to despise headers!) Buttoned everything up and new starter wouldn't crank. THEN did proper troubleshooting and found that the real problem was the $5.79 starter solenoid. Which sat on the fender and could be changed in 5 minutes simultaneously with having a cuppa coffee. Duh. ----------------------------- C'MON ! Those two things are the "dumbest things you've ever done?" I think you're holding back! How about this one: I dropped a fifth wheel on the bed of my truck! I backed in, heard my loud click, even turned around and saw the handle swaying. I got out and raised the jacks and readied the trailer. Being at a friends house I had to back up about 50 feet before pulling forward. Great so far . . . then as I pulled forward I heard a tremendous THUMP. I'll tell ya, I'll NEVER IN MY LIFE DO THAT AGAIN. Absolutely guaranteed. ----------------------------- Early 1970s.... went to take my daughter to nursery school and my pride and joy...a 1969 302 mustang wouldn't start. I went next door and woke up my neighbor and borrowed her car to take Dini to school, then again to pick her back up. Was stuck at home all day waiting for her husband to come home to look at my car. ( I had no money then and couldn't afford a tow truck.) He finally got home and sat in it and looked at me.... Put it in park, turned the key and started it. ----------------------------- Ha! I did this about 2 weeks ago. I spent 10 minutes troubleshooting why a car wouldn't start, when another engineer walked over, put it in park, and started it! And I'm a transmission engineer! ----------------------------- 1997: Still a little green on RV' n. Pulled into a campground and was lead to the parking site. Felt somewhat hurried by the person leaning me in. Jumped out and started to unhitch the toad because it was about half into the drive area. Had a heck of a time lifting the towbar because the toad was on a slight incline (rear downhill). Got the chains off, gave a big heave and up came the towbar and away went the toad. Tried to get in to hit the brakes. Doors locked! Heading for a trailer with a couple older folks (older than me). I was pulling on the towbar, wife jumped behind and was pushing against the toad (dumb move on her part to get behind the toad) and a neighbor camper ran over and we got it stopped in time. Wheee!!! Lesson learned: Don't let anyone hurry you getting set up. Unhook the chains ONLY after you have started the toad and have it in park. THINK, THINK, THINK!! The neighbor later confessed that he had done the same thing a few days earlier himself.I wish that there was an easier way to get an education. ----------------------------- My truck has a security system on it. Without the security key in the starter is dead. I hadn't used the truck for about a month and I went out to unhitch it from the trailer. Everything worked but the starter was dead. It had to be the starter solenoid stuck, so under I go complete with 3 lb persuader and beat on the solenoid, but no response. Oh hell, send for the triple A truck and let them take it to the dealer. It's still in warranty. The truck arrives and picks it up and just before he drives off, I remember that if I don't tell them about the security key they will have trouble, so I put the key in and off they go. It still hasn't hit me. They are only a few miles down the road when it at last hits me. I DIDN'T PUT THE SECURITY KEY IN WHEN I TRIED TO START IT. Later I had a call from the dealership to say that it started fine. I didn't have the heart to tell them, and I was sorely tempted to get out the flail and start the flagellation. If you can stand it, I have another story which goes back to the Korean War. Not RV related but on topic re: dumb things you can do, this time a not so dumb, dumb thing. I was on the flight deck of H.M.S. Theseus during take off, sailing off the Korean west coast, when I saw that one of the aircraft in the deck park wouldn't start. I ran to the spare aircraft, a Hawker Sea Fury, hopped in and with a mechanic standing to one side with his hand on the wing tip I turned on the fuel and tried to start the engine. The starter was a cartridge type. The cartridge fired and there was a jolt, but the temperature was less than 10 above and a stiff engine was to be expected. I asked the mechanic if he felt the jolt but he said no. So I selected another cartridge and tried it again and it started. There was a little smoke coming from a couple of cylinders, but it seemed OK. At start up that often happened. The Pilot of the aircraft that wouldn't start came waddling down the deck and hopped up on the wing. I slid out and he slid into the cockpit. I helped strap him in and he taxied out to the catapult and the deckcrew lashed it down for take off. That's the only time you get to go up to full power, all 2800 HP of it. I was watching the exhausts, waiting for the smoke to clear as it usually did, but it didn't. The catapult officer dropped his flag and off it went. A few minutes later we had a panic "Clear the deck", that meant every aircraft aft had to be pushed for'ard.. He landed back on OK, and after landing the pilot reported heavy vibration. I instructed a mechanic to drop the oil filters and after a few minutes he appeared with the filter element. I took one look at it and knew what had happened. Fuel had leaked down from the injector into the manifold and into the lower cylinder, the cylinder had hydraulic-ed. That is it had partially filled with fuel. If the fuel was left on for a long period that could happen. It was off when I got in but somebody must have left it on and then shut it off later. I had been inadvertently set up. The Engineering Officer for the squadron, not a very bright fellow, came over to look at the debris in the filter and immediately pronounced a bearing failure. I could see the bits of piston ring and piston debris. On this occasion the desire to be right was overwhelming, but prudence prevailed and I said "Quite right Sir, strike it down to the hangar". I was a Chief, and there was no way in hell I was going to open up that can of worms. Life still went on as normal, one crisis after another. Sometimes it pays to be wrong! ----------------------------- I had had my new 88 Chev pickup for only a couple of months. We were about to depart on a long vacation trip through Canada, and I wanted to jack up the side of the truck (for some reason that escapes me now). I carefully looked under the right side of the truck to verify the position of the jack and started pumping. Thr truck got about 6 inches up when I heard a loud "pshhhhhhhh" from the fuel cap. I rapidly lowered the truck, and sure enough, I had jacked it under the fuel tank rather than the frame. They were side by side and both covered with black undercoating. I turned on the ignition with trepidation and the pump howled because the bottom of the tank was shoved up against it. The Chevy parts man could not understand why I needed a new fuel tank until I sheepishly explained, but he found one and I had it swapped out in two days. $300 lesson. This one is not me, but is THE dumbest thing I have witnessed: The man taxied up his old Beech Bonanza to the FBO that I worked at and hopped out to use the phone or something. When he got back in it would not crank. The line boy asked if he wanted a jump and he said no thanks. He set the throttle, hopped out and hand propped the engine. The engine fired, ran up to full rpm and the plane started rolling immediately. He had not set the brakes. Or chocked the wheels. The owner dropped down to the ground as the plane roared by over his head, the prop missing him by less than a foot. He frantically jumped up and scrambled up the trailing edge of the wing for the open door and had just reached the door sill when the plane contacted a nice new pressurized Beech Baron twin. The prop cut into the wing about a foot from the nose and there was an expanding cloud of 100 gallons of vaporized avgas which, thank God, did not ignite. And sudden silence. We rushed to the scene and the owner just sat there on the wing saying "shit shit shit" endlessly. I got to fix the Baron and I never saw the dumb ass again. I was glad that the entire facility had not gone up in a fireball. Oh, another one nearly as dumb, same place: The line boy was new, it was early am and I guess he was over eager. He hooked up the fuel truck to the refuelling hose at the fuel farm and was standing around waiting for the tanker to fill when he got a call on his radio that a customer was taxiing up. He jumped in the truck and hauled out of there to see what he could do. The fuel hose pulled out of the tanker and lay on the ground. I don't know how full that 30,000 gallon tank was, but it ALL emptied into the sewer. The alarms went off across the field and the people there were able to block the flow to prevent it from entering the river. That young guy was never seen again either. Scarey. ----------------------------- My story is that as a young man with my first car (Datsun 510, 4 cyl overhead cam) I had more time than knowledge/experience and a friend who had the tools and time. The engine lost power, one cylinder was not firing properly. We diagnosed it as a head gasket problem. We removed the head, replaced the gasket, took three times to get the timing chain correct, etc. etc. Still didn't fire on all cylinders. Tested the spark plugs. Yes, one sparkplug was bad. We had accomplished a fifteen minute job in about 30 hours. OTOH I learned a valuable lesson, and learned more about my car, so it wasn't a complete loss. ----------------------------- It's the early 1980's... drove company car to Indianapolis... locked keys inside while unloading... two deputies try with slim jim for 1/2 hour... can't get them new-fangled sliding GM door locks to work... deputies leave for a call... deputies return and try some more... I'm watching, think I figured it out, ask to use slim jim... POP, door open... deputies ask where talent comes from... oops... ----------------------------- Last month while on vacation to Myrtle Beach, I pull the 5th wheel into their parking lot with a tree to my left side as instructed by the attendant. I went in and checked it. When I returned, I looked at the site map and decided the best way to our site was to turn left. I was aware of the tree and was watching it as I pulled out. My wife said.."You can't go that way", and being the typical man, I replied..."yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever". So, keeping the tree in constant sight in the mirror I proceeded pulling out. Next thing I hear is our friends who were behind us in their MH yell "STOP, GARY, STOP!" over the CB. When I got out I seen I had caught the rubber roof on a tree limb that was sticking out and ripped the hell out of it. Being new to towing, I was watching the tree trunk, and didn't look up to check for branches. I thought the wife was trying to tell me turning left was not allowed. Opps. So, not only did I have the distinct honor of doing something really stupid, but had the added pleasure of the "I told you so's" Fortunately my wife has a really good sense of humor and was fairly merciful. Another lesson learned...LOOK UP! Thank god for good insurance. :) ----------------------------- Years ago, when I got my first sailboat I was learning how to sail and doing a horrible job of it. I lost control of the boat and the wind blew me up on the shore. The boat wound up laying on her side with the waves beating against her hull. I managed to get the sails down and the boat pointed in the right direction, but could not get her off the beach. In frustration I started the little 5 horse motor gave her the gas in reverse and rocked the boat to no avail. Then in a moment of sheer stupidity I got off the boat and pushed at the bow and the boat gradually came free. It then dawned on me that I had no way to stop the boat to get in. The boat slowly started pulling off the beach towing me still cling onto the bow. Gradually I came to realize that I needed to drop off as I could not climb in the boat and the shore wa getting farther and farther away. When I got to the shore, I stood there looking at my boat getting smaller and smaller in the distance and feeling dumber and dumber by the second. I then turned around and saw two guys in a pick up drinking beer and watching me intently. In a flash of rare insight I knew exactly what the one was saying to the other. "Well, Bubba I sure as hell never ever saw a boat launched like that before". ----------------------------- Seen/done so many stupid things over the years that I could write a book. One of the all time dumb ones was when I took the dump bed off a truck and set a fifthwheel plate on it. Went to the house for the night and the next day backed it under a 40' flatbed loaded with hay. When I departed the trailer stayed with me for about 200 yards and I lost it. I had failed to bolt the fifthwheel to the truck. My wife still reminds me of that one when the occasion requires. ----------------------------- Rented a car in Phoenix for a vacation last year. (I always drive manual transmissions) Stopped east of town to admire the view in the superstition mountains. Restarted the car but couldn't get the trans shift lever to move to drive. When the tow truck driver got there he said it worked fine - you have to put your foot on the brake before you can shift out of park. I'd never had one like that before and we were on level ground at the time. ----------------------------- This happened to a friend, but it's so funny that I've got to share it w/ ya'all... My friend is a pretty serious water skier. He's usually out at 6 AM before the wind and other boats chop up the water. One morning he returns from his session and decides to leave the boat hitched up to his truck since he was planning on taking some friends out that afternoon. He backed the boat into the garage, but was a little worried about someone walking of w/ his $500+ water skis and other gear... No problem, he lowered the garage door down to the trailer tongue. Out of sight, out of mind, right? His stuff would be plenty secure. An hour later, my friend's wife needs to run up to the store for something. As she goes out the front door, she hollers back, "Can I just take the truck?" "Sure thing", he replies. A minute later he hears the sound of their garage door being ripped out of the house and onto the boat. Needless to say, now my friend ALWAYS unhitches the boat when he puts it in the garage. Without exception! ----------------------------- Dumb thing I did just this June.... I was passing thru Arkansas on an interstate on my way to New Orleans earlier this summer. I exited for fuel. After filling up I pulled off to the edge (but still very much on the concrete surface) of the gas station's parking lot to make some adjustments on the inside of the RV. When I got back into the drivers seat (1 minute later) I noticed a Semi had come and parked right in front of me blocking my planned exit route from the parking lot. The parking lot was large and mostly empty, the Semi could have easily parked somewhere else and not blocked me or anyone else but chose not to. Like the inexperienced fool I am I promptly check my rear views, put it in reverse, back it around a little bit, put it in drive and proceed to roll into a hole 2ft deep by 6 ft wide by 4ft long......never saw it coming (my wife in the passenger seat missed it also), didn't notice the hole when I parked earlier. It didn't even have any cones or hazard markers around it. Where I come from no-one with a publicly used parking lot would ever allow this level of disrepair to occur. (it would result in a lawsuit, or maybe a good beating from an irate driver who just damaged his vehicle). Apparently the laws are a little "different" in Arkansas?? Fortunately the damage was minimal, bent the left rear body panel when I bottomed out (the one that was already damaged a little by the previous owner) so no big deal. Could have punctured the oil pan, tranny pan. Could have lost a brake line. I got lucky and didn't even get stuck, partially applied the emergency brake and crept out of the hole in low gear. I learned my lesson the hard way. Now I pay extra attention to the blind spot that lies directly in front of most RV's (and mine).....you know, that patch of concrete or whatever that lies directly in front of you from the front bumper out about 5ft (more or less depending on model). If any of you have kids like mine (or grand kids) I also recommend checking this "blind spot" before you EVER leave your driveway at home.....It is a popular place to leave bicycles parked. Don't get me wrong and flame me for being an unsafe idjit. I always do a quick walkaround before moving when I have been parked anywhere and leave the vehicle for any period of time. This time I moved to what looked like a clear, safe spot, adjusted my engine cover for 1 minute while idling, then attempted to continue on. I never expected a moon sized crater to jump in my path. ----------------------------- Yesterday, friend and I hauled his sailboat out. We're just about ready to drive off when I suggest we take the aluminum mast down. About 50 metres down the road is a high tension power line hanging low.... ----------------------------- When I had my motorhome I used a large heavy wooden sawhorse to stand on to clean the front windows. Then I went in the side door and cleaned the inside of the windows. Then as the windows were sparkly I started her up and drove forward to put her away......... That's the day I learned the "walk around the RV" rule. The sawhorse did make good kindling. ----------------------------- My boat, thank heavens, had a motor that decided to turn and the little outboard started circling toward shore. There I was, like a fool that I can sometimes be, racing down the shore trying to keep up with the boat and praying that it would swing closer to shore. Finally it came into the shallows, motor first, of course and I ran out hoping the prop would not turn me into a soprano before I could catch the boarding ladder. After some dicey moments, like trying to catch a tiger by the tail, I caught the ladder and killed the engine. The boat was about 3500 pounds so the mass of it could have caused some damage had it caught me instead of me catching it. Now, looking back on it, it is a hoot! Now my big thrills come from watching the video tapes on the RV TV from the video camera shots we take each day of our travels. Almost boring in relation, but so much safer. ----------------------------- The most recent was mounting a wheel on my boat trailer backwards. Didn't figure it out until I spent about two minutes looking for the valve stem to check the pressure. It was hot, and I was tired, but jeez! ----------------------------- OK, My turn. Place: The Dump Station. The trailer was in position and I had the sewer hose out. I pulled the plumbing cap off the trailer and to my everlasting wonder (and it seemed to me slow motion) I watched as a 3" diameter slug of water and "other material" shot out towards my foot. I'm not real sure how I managed to a) move out of the way b) close the black water valve and c) keep my balance but I managed it without getting doused. To make matters worse, before I could get the mess cleaned up and the trailer dumped, another rig came up. Its owner eventually came over to grump at me for being so long and I had the "honor" of explaining the holdup. The dump valves have been checked and DOUBLE checked ever since. ----------------------------- >I'm not real sure how I managed to > a) move out of the way > b) close the black water valve a few yers ago, I witnessed the same thing....however this poor soul attempted to put the cap in place before remembering the valve....ouch!!! However I guess the fact that it was a rental MH gives him some excuse. ----------------------------- Mine always happen in the driveway, backed in slowly at dusk one night and backed th MH over a sealed 1/2 gallon of latex paint. It was sitting with the trash to go out the next day, it blew up all over the garage siding. It was about 34 degrees out so I was out there with water and brush trying to clean the garage siding and the bus sides while freezing as it got darker and darker. ----------------------------- On our second camping trip in our first RV (this past weekend) I decided to save DC power and not power the step's cover (in front of the passenger seat) out of the way. I could just scoot to the outside of this cover, drop my long legs over the side and easily reach a step to the outside. My brain (beside being 'cheap') had me open the door WHICH SUPPORTED THE ENTIRE OUTSIDE EDGE of the cover. I scooted alright. But when I reached the outside edge the center hinge went over-center the wrong way! I couldn't get in and JoAnn couldn't get out (since the screen door needed to be closed for the outside edge to be supported). Using the cover up/down motor just made things bind worse. Not even a block and 2"x4" as a lever would bring it back to 'level'. I finally fixed it by taking the track roller out of its track, reshaping the now bent roller bracket, and was able to raise the center of the cover and replace the roller in the track. Seems to work now (much better than my brain I might add). I can't believe I'm even sharing this 'cheap' and dumb move. I really don't want to take the self-impossed 'cheap' title away from the "Las Vegas" camper (sorry I can't remember your name. But what do you expect from a person that would do such a dumb a thing?) ----------------------------- We'd only had our Suncruiser back from the shop for a short time, after a warranty engine replacement. I popped open the "hood" and twisted off the radiator cap. Hmm, no coolant... Got the hose to top it off, stuck it in the hole, and turned on the water... I'm thinking to myself, "Man, this thing is taking A LOT of water (a couple of gallons or more), where's it all going?" Where it was all going was into the crankcase! The oil filler is next to and a little more prominent than the one for the radiator. Luckily, I figured it out, before I started the engine, and drained the oil/water out before anything bad happened. And now, the oil cap is clearly labeled "OIL"... ----------------------------- Ah, now HERE'S a topic I can relate to!!!!!!!!!!!! Last summer, first year with the 5th wheel, we went to a campground up north. Our site was SOMEWHAT downhill and we knew we needed to lower the front to level. We HAVE a checklist that we always use. Except THIS TIME.......... I put the front jacks down, and started to put some weight on them. Then I pulled the release lever, which was tight, and pulled some harder, then REALLY hard to release it.... Which it did... FOLLOWED IMMEDIATELY BY THE SIGHT OF A 25' 5TH WHEEL MERRILY ROLLING DOWNHILL TOWARD LAKE SUPERIOR!!!!! And, my WIFE, who grabbed the front like she was going to stop the thing! Fortunately, it hit a dip a few feet back, BEFORE it rolled over the tent camper in the next campsite (the one downhill from us!) After changing underwear, we hooked back up and pulled it back into place. THEN WE PUT THE WHEEL CHOCKS IN PLACE. We have NEVER forgotten to put the wheel chocks in place since. And we BOTH run the check list without fail....... OH, and we leave the breakaway cable hooked up until AFTER we're unhooked and stable! In an earlier life I was a mechanic at a Ford dealership. I can still remember the day we had an F150 up on a hoist for transmission work. The transmission jack was under the truck and in contact with the transmission. The customer came back and wanted to get something out of the truck, so the kindly service writer walked over and released the pressure on the hoist... Which came down. FAST. The transmission jack didn't. It was AMAZING to see how gracefully that truck rolled off the hoist sideways, and turned turtle right onto the roof of the Pinto in the next stall.......... Which of course did NOT handle the contact very well... and wound up about 3-feet high! Oh, the service writer walked up to the customer, who was standing at the front counter with his mouth hanging open and said "Can you hold off a little while on that stuff you needed? We can't get into your truck right now!" Fortunately, noone was in or around either vehicle and we just had a totaled Pinto, and a customer who got a new F150... OR, my co-worker who had his 3-week-old GMC truck hauled into the dealer on a hook... Because he'd been out hunting, and when finished walked back to the truck to unload his 30.06. Opened the door, put his foot on the sill and jacked a round out of the rifle. Except he fired it instead. And put the round right INTO the automatic transmission... With expected results! Did you know that GM will NOT warranty your transmission if you shoot it? And they have NO sympathy! And do you know how much the tow truck driver will charge to come and fetch you and your truck from the north woods? And how much he'll laugh!!!!!!!! ----------------------------- Not me personally, but this sounds like my neighbor. He and his wife took their new Sunnybrook TT out for the first time to a location where they really enjoy dry camping. It is on BLM land, a sage brush flat next to a sheer cliff overlooking the Owyhee River. And I mean a sheer cliff, the river is a couple of hundred feet down. Lovely view. Like many of us have done, they forgot to chock the wheels. You guessed it, the trailer started rolling straight toward the cliff. The wife threw a rock behind the wheels, but it was going fast enough to roll right over it. Then the husband got a bigger rock behind the wheels, and this one did stop the trailer. He told me later that he didn't think there was time for another attempt to stop the trailer.... ----------------------------- >Yesterday, friend and I hauled his sailboat out. >We're just about ready to drive off when I suggest >we take the aluminum mast down. >About 50 metres down the road is a high tension >power line hanging low.... That one's not funny. A good friend of mine ended up in the hospital somewhere along the Texas coast. He had taken his sailboat to the gulf of Mexico in December to escape the Manitoba winter. He loaded it and noticed the power line close by the launch but it was out of range of the mast. Then someone else wanted to use the launch before he got around to lowering the mast so he pulled ahead. The last thing he said he could remember was that he started to lower the mast, thought "where is that power line now?" and then woke up in the hospital. The mast was destroyed as were two tires on the trailer but he survived. ----------------------------- |
